PCOS

I posted before about starting to take Zoloft for my anxiety. I actually think in the week I have been on it that I am starting to notice a difference. I'm not so nervous at night and I do not jump at every little noise. I go to bed and do not toss and turn as much and worry about all the "what ifs" that can happen in the middle of the night.
As much as I hate having to take medicine, I realize that I need to and that if I want to be a normal person I'm going to just have to deal with the fact that I need help. I cannot control my anxiety/depression on my own as much as I want to. Being so afraid and nervous all the time was causing me to go into a depression and until I've noticed a change in myself the last few days, I did not realize I even had depression.
Today I got really down again though. After all the thoughts I had last night about being a mom and everything it has taken for me to have my babies I still had some sadness left over this morning. When I got the mail there was a letter from my doctor. I have been told in the past that there is a possibility that I have PCOS, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. I was never really tested for it, but I pretty much thought it is what I had after researching about it.
The letter today confirmed it for sure. Now I have to start taking another medicine every day. All my tests were completely normal except for my insulin levels. It is due to my PCOS. Now after hating the idea of being on medicine at all I am going to have to take a total of three pills a day. The Metformin they gave me has to be taken twice a day.
I really don't know what the big deal is to me about taking medicine. I just don't like having to I guess. I'm going to do what I need to though to get myself healthy. I need to do this not only for myself, but for my kids. They deserve a mom who can give them 100% and if I'm letting my anxiety control my life and not doing something about my other health problems, than I am not doing what I need to for them.
I didn't really mean for these past few blog posts to be all down and negative. It just helps me to get my thoughts down. Tomorrow is a new day, it is also payday. I have a fun weekend planned and hopefully I can put all this negativity away for now and enjoy my time.